How It Feels When Someone Rejects You…
You love the person whole heartedly and gets rejected. No one can understand that pain…
Rejection is not a single word, it is a story. It has different meaning to everyone. Everyone has their own story associated with them through the word ‘Rejection’.
Its easy to reject but harder to face. Rejection is like vacuum, all empty from inside. It creates emptiness for one who lost his self respect , self esteem , self confidence even his everything. He gets trapped inside the clouds full of complexity and negativity. He becomes a store house for all that negative energy that just wanted to burst out. Rejection becomes one of the worst fear. No one want to face it.
Rejection in love is a transformation of love to hatred. Hatred takes control of everything inside you. Can’t even imagine how it feels when your loved person rejects you? Advised you to stop loving her. They react like they don’t care about your feelings. Loving someone feels like committing a crime. Your whole world changed, your time takes a bad turn, your perception of the world changed drastically.
“Nothing is dangerous than a man who is transformed to hatred.”
The thing I fear is ‘One sided love’. Loving someone whole heartedly but one sided , always gives you the pain and pain and pain…
I love her from past a year. What I get is pain and nothing else. Today is her birthday (24th February 2022) and probably my last message to her. All my love gets transformed to hatred. I hate that person who don’t care about my special love , precious feelings and important time that I devoted to her. She always hurt me by her words. For her :-
love is just a game of feelings and hate is better than love.
Let me tell you the phases of pain during this rejection period.
* Phase 1
When I went to tell her my feelings after uncontrolled doses of love. I put up my guts to go in front of her and tell her that I love her. Her reply changed my mood. I feel disappointed. My body gets stir and I bought goosebumps. Feel sweating in even the cold winter morning. My feelings wiped out through sweetening. My redden face describe my pain and tension. A tornado forms inside my blood vessels and all my love gets transfered to hate. My blood boils and negativity flows through my body and now the ‘God of Love’ has transformed to ‘Demon of Hate’. Nothing is dangerous than this demon of hate.
* Phase 2
Day after day , negativity and hatred started increasing inside me. I loose my soul, heart and my brain stopped working. My heart palpitate for her but the thing is, I can’t get her. I becomes a powerhouse for the immense hatred and negativity.
I scratch my skin, pull my hairs, punch on walls, and sometimes hit my head on the table or walls. All I do is harm my body. I need to move out all the negative energy and pain from my body but for a teenager like me, it is next to impossible. There also comes a stage where my pain controls me and even I try to suicide.
All this happen in a small room. I get trapped in that alone room with all my fears, insecurities and pain. I don’t even have the will to go out of this room. I screamed with pain, anger and aggression. Nobody was there to help me. I can’t seek help of my parents and except them I am all alone. I have to face this never-ending pain.
* Phase 3
Rejection gives more pain than breakup as it starts from you and ends to you. After a week of heart break , facing of such pain , depression develops. My life’s motivation lost , I lost energy to work upon anything. Every time I remember her. I can’t even do simpler things except thinking about her and crying from inside.
“I wanna cry but my tears get dry.”
Everything remembers of her. Even if I close my eyes I saw her face. I can’t even sleep but when I do , I saw her in my dreams and that’s a worst nightmare. I am left with her memories that no longer make me smile. All my imaginary world with her end up. It’s like mirror of love that breaks and my perspective of love changed to immense hatred.
I can’t even understand what is happening with me. I even lost myself. My mind is full of irrational thoughts. I have such a bad level of thoughts that a normal person can’t imagine. I have questions about myself that I am not good enough to be loved by anyone. I would be like :-
Nobody likes me ! Yuck I am ugly!
I want her back but its impossible. Even I feel like an idiot, why I tell her my feelings? Why I spoiled everything? But the only thing left is regret , regret and regret…
I go outside, people see me always with a smile. They don’t understand the reason for that artificial smile. Only I know that I burry all my pain in that smile. That’s even the hardest thing, to suppress all my pain and negative emotions in just a single smile.
I become so sensitive that even her name can bring anxiety and stress. I can easily get triggered and spoil my moments. Mood swings are very common in that period. I don’t want to see her face again, but the fact is she is in my class. So I have to face her and get hurt daily.
Love is like sun. As sun is a source of energy like the person you love becomes the source of love. Everywhere you can find love and love. Your approach changed towards the world. You feel positivity and love among everything. But when your heart broke everything get reversed. Your perception changes towards hatred. Hatred get deeply rooted in your mind, body and soul. After rejection you may face depression, anxiety, hypertension, blood pressure problem and many psychological problems. As loss of your love you loose everything , your physical health as well as mental health. Now you can’t trust anybody, loving someone becomes very hard. You were totally kept inside yourself. This all goes on until someday, somebody came into your life. That’s the person who can heal you and make you feel what exactly love is. That person may understand your feeling and never leave your hand. And that day your life will totally changed to 180 degrees. Love is so mysterious, it can heal you as well as destroyed you.
One should have faith on love. Love is immortal !
